if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
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I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize