You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
Randomize
