I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
i like how i just referred to his pregnant wife as the "other" melissa and you didn't even judge me.
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
Randomize
