Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
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