watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
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