how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
I am engaged
To a real live girl that has met me
Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
babies were throwing up all over the place
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
Randomize
