one two three fourrrrnication!
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
I've taken a shot every five minutes for the past twenty. His valentines cupcakes are going to be a fucking delicious vodka induced mess. Thinking about putting vodka in this next batch. I'm the best girlfriend.
I am a murderer. I ran over so many baby frogs. I wanted to stop and pick some up to take home, but all I have is a wine bottle. I'd hate to explain that to a cop.
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
Randomize
