oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
I can't be 100% sure of this but I think tonight was the first time I told a middle aged woman holding a baby to go fuck herself
It took me fifteen minutes to go from puking on my doorstep infront of my old lady neighbor to legit presentable person able to care for children. Bronzing powder and I deserve an award.
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
Randomize
