I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
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You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
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I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
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