Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
My financial advisor filed my girlfriend's abortion under "investments" so my wife wouldn't find out
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
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