making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
Randomize
