well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
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