I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
I'm drunk and in a paddle boat and my friend won't quit yelling about pandas. Does this ever happen to you?
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
Randomize
