I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
I just tried to light a cigarette with a tube of lipstick. If I had stayed in girl scouts maybe I could've made that happen.
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
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