it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
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