dear santa what can i do with your candy cane?
Earlier, I saw a homeless man that looked like Abe Lincoln, and I just saw a guy walk past wearing crocs and socks. I'm beginning to like this city less and less
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
