im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
Randomize