with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
Tbell employee was shuffling through my bag, calling off each item i ordered to make sure it was all there. I stopped him halfway through with "guy, don't worry, I'm high as shit, I'll eat anything."
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
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