my text book just quoted the cookie monster
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
I couldn't find a water bottle, so I sent her to school with her juice in a flask. Who the hell let me become a parent?
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
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