the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
They woke me up at 4 in the morning screaming "drunk adventure time!" because they needed a sober chaperone. They made me walk them around the block shoeless.
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
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