We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
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