well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
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