I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
Randomize
