Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
He unofficially told me he deleted his tinder because of me. I think that’s a pretty romantic gesture in 2018
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
Randomize
