The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
Randomize
