But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
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