He said he wanted to have kids with me so they could grow up to be professional linebackers. Not. A. Complient.
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
I hate when people see you passed out in your front yard and call 911. Like what, you can't take a nap face down on your steps at 4pm?
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
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