its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
Randomize
