I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
Randomize
