Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
