4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
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