I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me.
I'm out of town so we should be golden.
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
So the woman who sold us weed at the park is pregnant. With another small child. And the basket she used to carry the joints is decorated with Barney stickers.
She's like a yuppie Nancy Botwin. She just gets better and better.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize