I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
Randomize
