whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
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