while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
Randomize
