mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
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