grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
Is it weird that I only look up my ex on Twitter when I take a shit? May have conditioned myself to associate him with shit
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
Do you ever look at someone's Snapchat story and think ‘you told me you would eat my ass’?
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
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