nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
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