my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
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