you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
You called me twice to tell me that you spit in your own eye, when I was right next to you.
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
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