Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
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