Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
