Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
I just made a cocktail. Had one shot of vodka left. It looked lonely so I decided to reunite it with its vodka friends in my bloodstream.
Starting the day at 1:44 in the afternoon. With a hot pocket and a mixer. Who knew my life had this kind of possibility.
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
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