Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
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