I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
What's the rule on cocaine before dinner?
Its 11 o'clock somewhere
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
i am craving dick and cupcakes
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
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