Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
Randomize
