i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
Randomize
