I cant wait for the day that I tell my daughter I named her after my favorite porn star.
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
WELP I KNOW THE HAPPY HOUR DRINKS WERE GOOD BECAUSE MOM JUST INFORMED ME I AM THE RESULT OF POKED HOLE IN THE DIAPHRAGM
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Let's get this straight. I am six fucking feet tall. Do you even understand how limited my options in guys to date are? No. Did you see my last three boyfriends? I looked like a fucking giant next to them. So I will fuck this six-foot-seven Italian model even if I am the ugliest girl at this party because, goddammit, I deserve to.
Randomize