So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
She’s leaving for college so I made her a gift basket with all the essentials. You know- Ramen, a 12 pack of PBR, some leftover Plan B pills and a laminated business card for a good lawyer. Damn I’m a good big sister.
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
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