i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
Randomize
