I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
and eventually we just all took our pants off
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
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