Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
You thought you were Snapchating on your tablet, but were really just poking John Stamos' face on my Full House dvd case...
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
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