I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
Randomize
