I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
I am naked and annoyed.
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
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