this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
Randomize
