I just woke up to crumpled tissues everywhere. Looks like it was another night filled with tears and semen.
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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